Indian families though glorified are the most violent institutions

 

Indian families, though often glorified, can be among the most violent institutions when it comes to the treatment of women. This truth emerges from my own experiences and in conversations with women who have sought justice in courts, sharing their everyday realities. While Indian families are romanticized in Bollywood films, on television, and across various media platforms, the reality of life within these family structures is far from idyllic for many women.

In fact, families are often where the roots of violence and discrimination against women take hold—long before they are even born. The pervasive issue of female foeticide and infanticide begins in the very homes where female fetuses are aborted or newborn girls are killed. The skewed sex ratio in India stands as a grim reminder of this systemic violence, underscoring the brutal preference for male children.

Even if girls manage to survive these early years, they are still subjected to discrimination within the family. They are often denied access to basic necessities like food, health care, and education. In many households, resources are disproportionately allocated to boys, ensuring that girls are left behind in terms of nutrition and opportunities for growth. This neglect affects their physical and emotional development and limits their future career prospects.

Moreover, from an early age, girls are conditioned to view their natal homes as temporary. They are taught that their primary purpose is to get married and move out of their parents' home, as if their existence and worth are secondary to the needs of the family they will marry into. This mentality reinforces the idea that women have no permanent place in the family they are born into, while men are expected to inherit and stay within their family structures.

The discrimination extends into economic resources as well. Property rights are a glaring example of how women are systematically denied access to the wealth and resources that are often reserved for male members of the family. In many parts of India, women still struggle to claim their rightful share of inheritance, even when the law explicitly grants them such rights.

Violence within the family is another harsh reality that many women face. Dowry violence, domestic violence, and even incest are forms of abuse that occur in the so-called "safe" space of the home. Wives and daughters-in-law are often treated as outsiders, no matter how many years they dedicate to serving their husbands and in-laws. Their emotional and physical well-being is disregarded, and their contributions to the family are undervalued.

Furthermore, the cultural rituals, customs, and traditions that are celebrated as part of Indian family life often work to the detriment of women and girls. From early childhood to marriage and beyond, girls are expected to conform to an ideal of self-sacrifice and submission. The pressure to adhere to these norms can be stifling, and the consequences of resisting are severe, ranging from social ostracism to physical and emotional abuse.

Despite all of this, the narrative remains that the family is a place of safety, warmth, and comfort. This myth is perpetuated by a society that is largely blind to the violence and discrimination that occur behind closed doors. The comfort and safety of family life are often reserved for men, while women are left to endure hardship and injustice in silence.

The reality is that for many women, the family is not a place of love or refuge but a system that perpetuates their oppression. The glorification of Indian families in the media only serves to obscure this truth, perpetuating a dangerous narrative that women’s suffering is invisible and unimportant. Until we confront and address these deep-seated issues within the family structure, we cannot hope to achieve true gender equality in Indian society.