Yes, All Men and Women Who Stay Silent Perpetuate the Culture of Violence with Impunity

https://countercurrents.org/2024/10/yes-all-men-and-women-who-stay-silent-perpetuate-the-culture-of-violence-with-impunity/ 

29/10/2024

Recently, there was a debate on social media regarding `#Not All Men’. This phrase is popularized online by mostly the Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) to depict that not all men are violent. It is in response to discussions regarding misogyny or abuse, which blame men as perpetrators. The proponents of this phrase ignored the feminist voices, which have been highlighting that violence is not a man versus a woman issue. Violence against women is about patriarchal oppression and the culture of impunity, which harms society at large. This is depicted from the responses of women who initiated a hashtag #YesAllWomen and #MeToo movement. In both these online movements, women shared their experiences of harassment and discrimination they faced because of persistent misogyny.

For centuries, women have been oppressed in patriarchal societies where violence and hegemony are used as tools to control them. Over the years, violence in private and public places against women has taken a virulent form. Violence not only physically affects victims; it also leads to emotional trauma, psychological scars, and the need for healing and closure. Moreover, violence implies not only an assault of the body, mind, or soul of a woman, but it also occurs when the conditions are being enabled to facilitate it and when the system—the state and the society—excuses it.

The women who try to raise their voices against such violence are ostracized, stigmatized, ridiculed, shamed, and alienated. The families, the communities, and all other social and legal institutions blame women. All efforts are made to silence women who defy patriarchal norms. Men and women in positions of authority within families, politics, society, or the legal system deploy all the strategies to silence women who raise their voices against violence. The arguments of discipline, love, sacrifice, honour, shame, and stigma are all made to compel women to `adjust’,  `forgive and forget’, or `move on’. Patriarchy conditions women to bear violence silently. It also trains women to sustain this culture of blaming victims for the violent acts committed by abusive men.

Also, the laws made to protect women from violence are appropriated to serve the masculinist order. The legal system, instead of punishing the abusers, discredits women survivors of violence. Myths and misogyny are propagated to portray the survivors of violence as liars and gold diggers. Victim blaming shuts the women’s voices of pain and suffering while ignoring the cries for justice. The moral compass of society works in a way to put the burden of guilt and shame on the victim of violence rather than shaming the abuser for their violent and criminal act. The androcentric courts are also guided by this patriarchal ideology, which silences the voices of women survivors of violence.

This system puts the entire burden of violence on women victims while evading to fix the accountability of a violent man, creating a culture of impunity. Violent men felt emboldened and entitled in such a culture because they knew that they would not be held liable for their criminal actions. Thus, society enables conditions where abusive men are excused for all their horrific, vile, and criminal actions.

Perhaps society fails to penalize men guilty of violence against women because these men are ordinary men. They are someone’s father, brother, husband, or son. This logic ignores the fact that a victim is also someone’s daughter, mother, wife, or sister, and more importantly, a human being and citizen endowed with rights. She deserves justice.

Not only in India, but across the world, women are discriminated against and alienated by the social and legal system. For instance, recently, the horrific experiences of Gisele Pelicot, a French woman, sedated and raped by her husband and dozens of other men for nine years, show how women are deceived by the systems and institutions, which promise them safety, equality, and justice. The trial of this case is going on. The video records and the documents found during investigations presented before the court indicate the terrible nature of violence. This case has evoked discussions relating to the prevalence of rape culture, consent, betrayal in marriage, pornography, and digital violence against women, and importantly, it shows how the masculine code operates, where none of the men invited to rape her complained against it. It shows that any man can be a predator, the one who is not just “someone met in a car park late at night” but “can also be in the family, among our friends.”

More importantly, Gisele Pelicot’s reaction, her courage and determination to speak for all women victims and survivors of violence, despite being hurt, and her zeal to support the cause of survivors of violence are empowering. In her response to her ordeal, she said that she felt betrayed, broken, and completely destroyed. She precisely stated that the `shame should change sides’. She rightly challenged the system to ascertain that all men who stayed silent should be shamed for their violent acts.

The cases of violence against women in India and worldwide depict how the families, communities, the law, the legal system, and society are complicit in the crime against women and create a culture of impunity where men feel entitled to violate the soul, the mind, and the body of women as per their whims and fancies. Therefore, the violent men and patriarchal society that silence women and embolden men, should all be held responsible for creating a culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, all women experience sexism, discrimination, misogyny, and violence in some way or another.

Yes, all men and women who stay silent in situations when violence is inflicted on women or refuse to acknowledge the persistent situation of discrimination against women are complicit in crime. 

Yes, all men and women who intentionally turn their faces away when a woman faces violence in a public or private space are guilty of perpetuating the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, all men and women who intentionally indulge in fierce backlash against women’s rights while promoting misogyny and toxic masculinity, disseminating myths, knowing that cases of violence against women are increasing in terms of scope, outreach, and barbarity, are guilty of perpetuating the climate of injustice.

Yes, those backlashers who propagate the myth that women are liars and gold diggers to divert attention from the role of men and society should carry the burden of the guilt of creating the culture of violence with impunity. 

Yes, all families who silence the voices of women and prevent them from complaining encourage the culture of violence and impunity.

Yes, the families who turn away women in pain rather than supporting her are complicit in creating a culture of impunity.

Yes, the communities that compel women victims and survivors of violence to carry the burden of shame and guilt while excusing men for their violent crimes preserve the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the culture that tolerates and promotes practices such as dowry violence, female foeticide, son-preference, honour killing, forced marriages, child marriages, witch hunting, widow discrimination, and girl child discrimination is guilty of perpetuating violence with impunity.

Yes, those who welcome and garland the murderers and rapists are complicit in crimes against women.

Yes, the society that tolerates misogynist speeches and sexist jokes every day is guilty of perpetuating the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the media that propagates the misogyny 24/7 is guilty of perpetuating the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the businesses that objectify and commodify women for their profits are complicit in the crime of creating a culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the onus lies with society, which upholds and perpetuates patriarchal norms that favour men while silencing women for maintaining the culture of violence against women with impunity.

Yes, those who sideline `women’s issues’ believing that women’s pain and suffering are less important than all other problems in the world and should be attended to when all other problems are resolved, create a culture of violence against women with impunity.

Yes, the state, which has failed to enforce the laws and policies to facilitate conditions to eliminate violence against women, is complicit in the crime.

Yes, the state that has failed to allocate budget to provide services to the victims and survivors of violence is guilty of creating a culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the legal system, including the police personnel, the prison administration, the policymakers, the lawmakers, and enforcers, who discredit the voices of survivors of violence and deny justice to women, are complicit in the crime in creating the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the police personnel who refuse to register the complaints of violence against women are complicit in crime and create a culture of impunity.

Yes, the lawyers and the judges who apply the arguments of divinity and politicize the law and the legal system to marginalize the oppressed are guilty of sustaining the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the lawyers and judges, who instead of using the constitutional provisions, subjectively release the abusers, are reinforcing the climate of impunity.

Yes, the lawyers and judges who himpathize with the abusers for being young, or he has a family to support, and similar excuses uphold the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the lawyers and judges who ignore the needs of the victims and their families for justice are complicit in perpetuating the culture of impunity.

Yes, the legal system that delays cases related to violence against women is guilty of perpetuating the culture of impunity.

Yes, all men and women in positions of authority who stay silent to uphold their vested gains when women’s rights are violated are guilty of contributing to the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, all men and women politicians and parliamentarians who refuse to acknowledge the increasing violence against women and choose to do nothing about it are complicit in the crime against women.

Yes, the political parties who sideline women’s issues and give tickets to men guilty of committing violence on women are complicit in creating the culture of crime against women with impunity.

Yes, all men are guilty of perpetuating the culture of violence with impunity when, in conflict situations, women’s bodies are being targeted to teach a lesson to the enemy.

Yes, when the institutions created to protect women fail to fulfill their obligations, these institutions are guilty of failing women and are creating the culture of impunity.

Yes, the army personnel guilty of rape, when shielded by their higher-ups; the system are responsible for creating the culture of violence with impunity.

Yes, the system that has become immune to the screams of women facing violence is guilty of perpetuating violence against women with impunity.

Yes, `the shame should change sides’ as Gisele Pelicot stated.

Yes, the system of blaming the women who experience violence should change.

Yes, the culture of violence against women with impunity should change.

Yes, the state, society, and communities should fix the accountability of abusive men.

Yes, the perpetrators of violence should be carrying the burden of shame and guilt of committing the crime against women.

Yes, the patriarchal social and legal norms must change in the spirit of justice, and the culture of violence with impunity must be altered.

Yes, the system should facilitate the conditions necessary for the women who face violence to openly speak against it without any guilt or shame and promote the healing of survivors and victims of violence.

Yes, the structural oppression and systemic inequalities must end.

Yes, we need to smash patriarchy.

`Not all men’ but `Yes, all men and women who stay silent’ propagate the culture of violence with impunity, and this should end.

Adv. Dr. Shalu Nigam is a feminist lawyer and researcher working on gender, governance, and human rights issues. Her most recent book which is published in on Dowry is a Serious Economic Violence: Rethinking Dowry Violence Law in India.  

 Excerpt from my book 

Dowry is a Serious Economic Violence: Rethinking Dowry Law in India 

(2023)

Amazon

Centuries ago, when Karl Marx wrote exhaustively about the callous exploitation of workers by the capitalist class, he may not have imagined how in South Asia, women as brides would be treated as commodities, pitilessly exploited, and violently murdered in their own homes by their abusive husbands for extorting wealth. As the ruthless oppression of the toiling masses could not be prevented by laws or policies, the merciless torture and murder of women could not be regulated despite establishing a legal mechanism in place. Over the decades, predatory capitalism has irrevocably acquired an altered form, and the free-market approach has devised a new mechanism of manipulation (Faber D, 2018). Similarly, the viciousness of the neoliberal forces, clubbed with patriarchy, feudalism, conservatism, rampant materialism, and excessive consumption propelled by extensive consumerism, is aggravating the desire among men and their families to accumulate quick wealth using marriage as a tool to extract resources from women and their families. The bourgeoisie-proletariat categorization, in the situation of dowry practice, is expanded to include the classification of savagely privileged men versus women – rich or poor, and in urban or rural areas. Women from all backgrounds dreadfully suffer for the material gains of men and their families in a harsh and hostile environment fuelled by the neoliberal, Brahmanical capitalist patriarchy.

 

She is a girl; she has a right to survive with dignity

Shalu Nigam 

21 June 2022

She is not a commodity to be traded 

Hope that the moment you downgraded her could be faded 

She is not an object of your desire

She has dreams of her own to aspire

She is not a burden to be discarded 

She is a human to be accepted 

She is not a property to be owned 

She could imagine a world of her own

She is not a source of your free labor

Respect her rights and her worth, she is stronger

Because she is a girl, a woman 

She needs no permission

Her body her life and her future belong to her

Don't bring in your stereotypes, traditions or your repressive culture 

Your world is brutal and discriminatory 

But she dreams of a world that rests on equality

Where everyone has a right to survive with dignity

 

How Malimath Committee Denied Women their Rights?

Section 498A IPC is inserted in the Indian Penal Code in 1983 and provides to protect women from cruelty in their matrimonial homes. The Malimath Committee Report (2003), twenty years after the enactment of Section 498A noted,

“In less tolerant impulsive woman may lodge an FIR even on a trivial act. The result is that the husband and his family may be immediately arrested and there may be a suspension or loss of job. The offence alleged being non-bailable, innocent persons languish in custody. There may be a claim for maintenance adding fuel to the fire if the husband cannot pay. She may change her mind and get into the mood to forget and forgive. The husband may realize the mistakes committed and come forward to turn a new leaf for a loving and cordial relationship. The woman may like to seek reconciliation. But this may not be possible due to the legal obstacles. Even if she wishes to make amends by withdrawing the complaint, she cannot do so as the offence is non-compoundable. The doors for returning to family life stand closed. She is thus left at the mercy of her natal family…This section, therefore, helps neither the wife nor the husband. The offence is non-bailable and non-compoundable making an innocent person undergo stigmatization and hardship. Heartless provisions that make the offence non-bailable and non-compoundable operate against reconciliations. It is, therefore, necessary to make this offence (a) bailable and (b) compoundable to give a chance to the spouses to come together” (p. 191).

 

The Committee while making such observations expressed its apprehensions in the ability of the criminal justice system to provide justice. However, the committee has failed to recognize that

First, cruelty under 498A is listed as a cognizable, non-bailable and non-compoundable crime and has to be dealt with accordingly. The criminal justice system while dealing with each case, is expected to take abundant precautions in ascertaining the guilt of the accused person, therefore to suggest that this offence be diluted implies distrusting the judiciary and labelling the trial courts as inefficient to effectively adjudicate the culpability of the parties.

Second, the context of the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim does not make domestic violence a lesser crime. Rather the severity of the crime is adverse in situations where the batterer is in the capacity to exert financial, emotional and social control over the victim because of the relationship and the victim is financially dependent on the perpetrator.

Third, salvaging a violent marriage is not a viable option when a man is abusive as he destroys the family through his violent actions. Families cannot be built on the edifice of bruised and battered bodies or scarred minds.

Fourth, the bitterness in a relationship already starts once a wife is being abused, therefore suggestions should have focused on altering the men’s violent behaviour.

Fifth, the policemen are not overzealous to arrest the accused. Rather studies have shown that women undergo hassles in filing the FIR. Also, at every step of the trial, mediation is enforced vehemently to compel women to reconcile.

Sixth, making the offence compoundable will not serve the purpose as neither this will deter the perpetrator nor it will help to salvage the relationship. Experiences show that violence escalates in situations when women are pushed back in abusive situations without the guarantee of safety.

Last, the committee has failed to raise concerns relating to provisions of shelter homes, medical, or legal aid or other facilities for the battered women as its only apprehension was to save the family. This indicates its biased approach.

Despite its pitfalls, this erroneous approach sets precedents, is being repeated multiple times, and has major implications for diluting the procedures and provisions relating to criminal law. Over the years, the state has followed the recommendations blindly without testing the validity of claims or referring to the existing research to suggest changes. 

For more details please see my book

Domestic Violence Law in India: Myth and Misogyny (2021) Routledge

Yes, I Am a Woman…..

By Shalu Nigam

28 July, 2014
Countercurrents.org

https://www.countercurrents.org/nigam280714.htm

On the occasion of this Independence Day, I continue to fight for my independence as a common woman, as a citizen of this free nation and more importantly as a human being…

Yes, I am a woman and I am proud of myself. I am strong and I am growing stronger by each passing moment. I am an independent, fearless, free thinking woman making choices at every step reaffirming my pride, contesting for my dignity and in the process shaping and writing my own destiny….

I am the one with vision you see carrying bricks on construction sites...

I am a woman toiling in an agriculture field awaiting for the crop of my imagination to be harvested...

I am a worker working in a textile organization weaving my hopes in the garments I knit…

I am a student with dreams in my eyes, cycling or running after buses…

I am a scientist inventing and imagining, an architect, shaping and cementing the foundations of the new India carving it out from the old…

I am an office goer craving to fulfill my aspirations you can see in a train or a metro…

I am a teacher with a desire to inspire the future generation…

I am a health worker continuously striving to create a healthy India…

I am an engineer with a conviction of building a bright future…

I am a house worker carrying out loads of work with thoughts of sending my daughters to the moon…

I am a woman with courage walking with a pitcher in village carrying water to miles…

I am a woman with hope and optimism cooking food, cleaning house, managing farms, factories and corporate offices….

Because I am a dreamer, believer, creator and a doer ….

I may not be having a fair, bright skin, long shiny hair or a thin hourglass figure as promoted by corporate and media. I do not believe in all such lies and false standards for I am a real woman and real persons cannot be defined, contained and shaped, labeled or designed, mocked or ridiculed by anyone. I am a common Indian woman who takes pride in herself and choose to believe in myself, my strengths, my qualities, skills and abilities.…

I am a daughter of an independent India and a successor of Gargi, Maitrayee, Razia Sultana, Mirabai, Rani Lakhsmi Bai, Kittur Chennamma, Pandita Ramabai, Sarojini Naidu, Vijay Lakshmi Pandit, Kasturba Gandhi, Aruna Asaf Ali, Raj Kumari Amrita Kaur, Annie Besant, Capt Lakshmi Sehgal, Irom Sharmila Chanu and millions of other women who struggled or are working hard not only against the colonial rulers but also against the hegemony of oppression and exploitation imposed by dominant caste, class and patriarchy, so the coming generations could have a better future. I pledge that efforts of generations of women will not go in vain, that I the descendant of their courage and audacity will strive for justice till I get it….

I have been teased, molested, raped, beaten, murdered, tortured, discriminated against, violated, yet I survived all and rose from ashes like a phoenix, much stronger, much powerful and much tough. Bend me or break me, rape me or kill me, I will not give up. Nothing could destroy my soul or my spirit….

I reside in every Mathura, Bhanwari Devi, Shah Bano, Ammena, Rupan Deol Bajaj, Tarvinder Kaur, Roop Kanwar, Imrana, Gudiya, Soni Suri, Nirbhaya and identify myself as every other girl who is being raped, burned, abducted, brutalized daily in each and every nook and corner of India and yet fought back against perpetrators in some or the other way….

I am not a silent spectator of my brutal violations. I am not a victim, rather I am a survivor. I raise my voice in Parliament, I come out on streets against injustice, I struggle against World Bank, IMF and its Structural Adjustment Programmes, and similar such instruments which played a significant role in `feminization of poverty', I even resist at home and workplace against discrimination and violence, I stand to protect my right to water, to forest, to land, to livelihood and most importantly right to a dignified life. My voice can't be suppressed, restrained or smothered….

I agitated when the Supreme Court of India released the two policemen who raped me, tribal girl inside a police station, I revolted when during 80s the part of me was burned alive for greed, lust and consumerism in the form of dowry, I protested when I was immolated as sati, I dissented against any tradition or practice which tried to kill me before, at or after my birth because I am a girl, I raised my voice against rising the height of the dam which tended to destroy everything in the name of development, I challenged Norplant and any such procedures which denies me of my right to health, I dare to protest as a law intern against a Supreme court judge who molested me, I hugged the tree in forests when my rights to forest were denied, I created a revolution in North East against rape by military and para military forces, I resisted against fundamentalism which showed its ugly face in the form of communal riots, I raised my dissent when those in the judicial fraternity threw my petition on the ground that upper caste men cannot rape a dalit woman, I declared war against those who kidnapped young children at Nithari, I went against my boss, an editor of a magazine who molested me, I initiated anti arrack movement in different places, I struggled to get my right to livelihood, health and education, I stand against acid attacks, I rise against honour killing and witch hunting, I protested when I was raped in a moving bus in Delhi and I screamed at the top of my voice when I was raped and hanged by the tree in Badaun, and I will keep on doing that until I get respect and justice I deserve, I will keep on fighting continuously, for my dignity, my pride, my self- respect, my empowerment, my emancipation ….

I fight against poverty; I struggle against patriarchy – patriarchy which exists within family, at workplace, at public spaces and within mindset; I reject the notion of a deep-rooted, misogynist tradition-fed gender hierarchy - defined, dominated and exploited by few; I challenge free market economic policies and such reforms which take away my rights to peaceful existence; I resist against fundamentalism; I protest against oppression in any form. I voice my concerns for my space, for equality and for equal opportunities….

Born in free India, I strive to realize my constitutional right to dignified life – a life free from discrimination of all kinds. I negotiate to bridge the gap between political ideals and realities. I assert for my lawful rights, claims and entitlements and not ‘welfare programmes or scheme' given as a dole within socio-political arena. I endeavor to lead a life free from violence, right to enjoy privileges including that of water, food, education, health, land and all other amenities essential for civilized living….

I call my family to allow me to be born, and care for me as much they care for their sons, not to discriminate against me, provide me with the opportunity to get health, food and education and not marry me at an early age, not to give or demand dowry, not to inflict violence including incest, because I am powerless in certain situations….

I demand for equality in opportunities at the workplace, a work environment free from any discrimination or workplace violence…

I urge upon the society to give up misogynistic patriarchal attitude that results in violating my dignity and pride and in customs like female foeticide, honour killing, witch hunting, trafficking, buying and selling women as brides….

I am of the view that patriarchy must be abolished. In the independent India, all such practices that are offensive to anyone should be declared illegal and unconstitutional….

I am against capitalistic patriarchy that commodifies women and promote gender stereotypes that discriminate against women. I confront imperialism in its new avatar of globalization and liberalization which has led to increasing restrictions to my space, access to resources, destroyed indigenous skills and knowledge system, harmed the local ecology and devastated local forest, water systems and land.….

I defy all challenges in my way placed by fundamentalist and communal forces to exclude me, deny me visibility, keeping me propertyless and resourceless for vested interests…

I resist against militarization and nuclearization which promote brutal ways of life taking most of the budgetary provisions while denying basics …

I also demand to enact Women's Reservation Bill, enabling policies for single women and laws that strive for fair treatment. I propose to reconsider all the laws that are patriarchal, patrilineal and biased and support implementation of those laws which promote equality….

I insist that all those who opine that women misuse laws against rape or domestic violence law to just think once from a perspective of that woman who is being raped, or has survived violence within the confines of `safety and security' of home or public place; women are being raped in marital relations and in public spaces, tortured, humiliated, brutalized, murdered; the society cannot close its eyes to such incidences that are happening day in and day out. The data and statistics available with the National Crime Record Bureau and other organizations cannot be negated; the incidences reported everyday cannot be overlooked and these are only a tip of an iceberg as many of cases are not even taken to the police stations or courts. The NCRB report 2013 shows that during the year, 309546 cases were reported for crime against women which implies that so many women are being harmed in some way or the other. This is apart from rape cases which were reported as 33707 and dowry deaths cases which were 8083 in number. This data also indicates that 162238 cases were disposed of by the police, where charge sheet has been submitted in 93386 cases, investigation is pending in 50129 cases, final report (true) has been submitted in 7808 cases and only in 10864 (only 6%) cases the charges are found to be false or were treated as the mistake of law in cruelty against women cases. That is when the attitude and mindset generally is gender biased. So where is the misuse of the law? Impunity is only adding to the crime. Please be awake! And listen to those voices screaming for fairness…

I suggest to those who whine that women are abusing laws, that the number of cases are increasing as more and more women are getting aware of their rightful entitlements which have been denied to them for generations. Their voices have been suppressed for decades, but now is the time for REVOLUTION. More and more women are ready to speak up and will be claiming what is theirs!

I would like to tell those who go by the approach that `Boys will be Boys' that this patriarchal ideology to defend the crime only promoted `goondaism'. That even `girls are girls', but are mature, independent and sensible. Now, it is the time for the boys to catch up to be more responsible, wise and prudent… And many have been as depicted in the recent protests on women's rights issues when they join hands with women against violence. I salute them….

I plead all those leaders from politics, religious and other groups, who issue such statements that defy, disregard, disrespect, underestimate and misjudge dignity of women to consider the fact that women are equal citizens and humans; without them the existence of life will not be possible....

I hope that the State will ensure that half of the country's population be treated with respect as equal citizens and will receive justice in all forms – social, economic, political…

I argue that personal is political. There should not be private women sphere and public men space as asserted by patriarchy, as everything I do in personal sphere has effect on political arena...

Further, I believe, I am a change. Change begins with me. I resist, therefore I exist. I critically examine myself every day, every moment….

You may call me a family breaker but I am not against the institution of family; rather I fight against patriarchy and inequality within the family; I am not against religion but I combat communalism; I am not against indigenous culture however I resist patriarchy, sexism, discriminatory, stereotypical and misogynistic attitude; I am not striving for equality with men nevertheless I want to be an equal partner taking decisions in creating a society free from violence or discrimination. I am working to empower and emancipate myself. More than being ideological, my struggle is pragmatic….

Yes, I am a feminist and an activist and I take pride in it. No, I do not shy away from my identity which has given me an understanding to fight for my rights, to strive for justice, to struggle for freedom and endeavor for my self-respect. I dare to exhibit courage, confidence, audacity, till women in this country truly achieve independence…