A Life Warrior

 

A Life Warrior

Not long ago, a book titled Exam Warrior gained widespread attention. I haven’t read it, but the title alone suggests that it's intended to guide school and college students on how to excel in examinations — how to score high marks, overcome test anxiety, and perform well academically. No doubt, such guidance can be useful during one phase of life. But my own experiences have taught me a very different lesson: life is not an exam — it is far more complex, unpredictable, and demanding.

Unlike academic tests, life does not give you a syllabus. There is no fixed pattern to follow, no past papers to solve, and no single correct answer. The challenges we face in life are often unexpected and don’t come with instructions. They test not only our knowledge but also our resilience, emotional strength, adaptability, and character. And unlike exams, which have a scheduled start and finish, the tests that life throws at us can emerge at any moment — sometimes without warning.

That’s why I believe we need more than just exam warriors; we need life warriors.

A life warrior is not someone who merely excels in academics or performs well in a job interview. A life warrior is someone who learns to cope with failure, who keeps going after a loss, who adapts to change, who stands up again after being knocked down — someone who, above all, refuses to give up.

In school, we are taught to memorize answers. But life demands that we learn how to ask better questions — and how to live with uncertainty. In college, we’re graded on individual performance. But in life, success often depends on teamwork, relationships, empathy, and communication — things that rarely show up on a report card.

Our education system tends to emphasize academic performance as a measure of a person’s worth. But the real world doesn't operate that way. Some people top exams but struggle to find happiness. Others may not have earned high marks, but they go on to lead impactful, fulfilling lives. Why? Because they’ve learned how to face the tests of life — not just the tests of school.

So while exam skills may help you get a degree or land a job, life skills help you live. Skills like critical thinking, emotional intelligence, time management, self-discipline, patience, and resilience — these are what shape a life warrior.

It’s time we broaden the definition of success. Let’s not raise a generation of children who believe their worth is tied only to grades or ranks. Let’s encourage them to dream, to question, to explore, to fail, and to rise again — to become not just exam warriors, but true life warriors.

Why Are Courts Ignoring the Everyday Realities of Women’s Struggle for Justice?

 Why Are Courts Ignoring the Everyday Realities of Women’s Struggle for Justice?

In recent years, a troubling narrative has taken hold in many Indian courtrooms: the idea that women are misusing the Domestic Violence Act. This narrative, often repeated without thorough evidence, reflects a deep-rooted suspicion of women's voices, especially when they speak out against abuse. What the courts fail to see—or choose to ignore—are the everyday, lived realities of women who are systematically silenced, disbelieved, and denied justice.

Let me share the story of one of my clients, which highlights the grave injustice being carried out in the name of procedure and skepticism.

She was a government employee, financially independent, and had a daughter from a previous marriage. Hoping for companionship and stability, she married a man from Calcutta who had been divorced. What unfolded after the marriage, however, was nothing short of betrayal and abuse. This man emotionally and financially exploited her. Under the pretext of buying a house for their future together, he took control of her salary, drained her savings, and even coerced her into taking loans in her name.

Then he vanished, leaving her with mounting debt, false promises, and a child to support.

When we approached the court under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, hoping for relief and protection, the response was disheartening. Despite repeated efforts, the man refused to appear before the court. Instead, he sent her threatening messages, harassing her from a distance. When we presented these messages as evidence and requested a protection order, the court did not act. Rather than offering urgent protection to a woman clearly under duress, the court insisted on giving the man yet another chance to appear.

For nearly a year, this cycle continued. The police claimed they had pasted the summons at his address in Calcutta—a symbolic gesture at best. The legal system moved at a glacial pace while my client lived in fear, burdened by debt, and emotionally shattered. Eleven months later, she received news that he had died. Just like that, the court closed the case.

No protection. No justice. No acknowledgment of the harm she endured.

And now, she is left with nothing but the consequences of his lies—trapped under the weight of loans taken in her name, with no recourse, no restitution, and no home. The documents for the house were fake. There is no property to claim, no inheritance to fight for, only a lingering sense of abandonment—not just by the man who exploited her, but by the very system that was supposed to protect her.

She tried to console herself, thinking of this as her karma. But are these really her failures, or is it because of the indifference of the system that she suffered? 

Is this what justice looks like?

The courts' reluctance to believe women’s experiences of domestic violence reflects a dangerous and systemic failure. While concerns about misuse of the law exist and should be addressed responsibly, they cannot become an excuse to dismiss genuine cases outright. Every time the courts delay action, demand yet another piece of evidence, or wait endlessly for the accused to respond, they are enabling abusers and endangering survivors.

Justice delayed is not only justice denied—it is justice undone.

We need a judicial system that understands the complexity of domestic abuse, especially when it involves financial manipulation, coercive control, and emotional trauma. Women don’t just need legal provisions; they need courts that act swiftly, sensitively, and decisively.

Until then, the law remains a promise unfulfilled. And women like my client will continue to pay the price.

Indian families though glorified are the most violent institutions

 

Indian families, though often glorified, can be among the most violent institutions when it comes to the treatment of women. This truth emerges from my own experiences and in conversations with women who have sought justice in courts, sharing their everyday realities. While Indian families are romanticized in Bollywood films, on television, and across various media platforms, the reality of life within these family structures is far from idyllic for many women.

In fact, families are often where the roots of violence and discrimination against women take hold—long before they are even born. The pervasive issue of female foeticide and infanticide begins in the very homes where female fetuses are aborted or newborn girls are killed. The skewed sex ratio in India stands as a grim reminder of this systemic violence, underscoring the brutal preference for male children.

Even if girls manage to survive these early years, they are still subjected to discrimination within the family. They are often denied access to basic necessities like food, health care, and education. In many households, resources are disproportionately allocated to boys, ensuring that girls are left behind in terms of nutrition and opportunities for growth. This neglect affects their physical and emotional development and limits their future career prospects.

Moreover, from an early age, girls are conditioned to view their natal homes as temporary. They are taught that their primary purpose is to get married and move out of their parents' home, as if their existence and worth are secondary to the needs of the family they will marry into. This mentality reinforces the idea that women have no permanent place in the family they are born into, while men are expected to inherit and stay within their family structures.

The discrimination extends into economic resources as well. Property rights are a glaring example of how women are systematically denied access to the wealth and resources that are often reserved for male members of the family. In many parts of India, women still struggle to claim their rightful share of inheritance, even when the law explicitly grants them such rights.

Violence within the family is another harsh reality that many women face. Dowry violence, domestic violence, and even incest are forms of abuse that occur in the so-called "safe" space of the home. Wives and daughters-in-law are often treated as outsiders, no matter how many years they dedicate to serving their husbands and in-laws. Their emotional and physical well-being is disregarded, and their contributions to the family are undervalued.

Furthermore, the cultural rituals, customs, and traditions that are celebrated as part of Indian family life often work to the detriment of women and girls. From early childhood to marriage and beyond, girls are expected to conform to an ideal of self-sacrifice and submission. The pressure to adhere to these norms can be stifling, and the consequences of resisting are severe, ranging from social ostracism to physical and emotional abuse.

Despite all of this, the narrative remains that the family is a place of safety, warmth, and comfort. This myth is perpetuated by a society that is largely blind to the violence and discrimination that occur behind closed doors. The comfort and safety of family life are often reserved for men, while women are left to endure hardship and injustice in silence.

The reality is that for many women, the family is not a place of love or refuge but a system that perpetuates their oppression. The glorification of Indian families in the media only serves to obscure this truth, perpetuating a dangerous narrative that women’s suffering is invisible and unimportant. Until we confront and address these deep-seated issues within the family structure, we cannot hope to achieve true gender equality in Indian society.

It’s My Life — And I Know Best How to Live It

 

It’s My Life — And I Know Best How to Live It

There was a time in my life when everything seemed to be falling apart. I was in a dark, difficult place—emotionally, mentally, and even physically. It felt like I was drowning in pain no one could see, and certainly, no one could understand.

During that time, someone suggested I take the Art of Living course. Their intention, I’m sure, was to help. But the moment I heard it, I felt a wave of resistance rise up in me.

How could anyone else possibly tell me how to live my life?

My pain was unique. My circumstances were layered. No one knew the full story—what I had endured, what I was feeling, or what it truly meant to carry the weight I was carrying. No one saw my inner strength, my quiet resilience, or the flickers of hope I still held onto. So how could someone—no matter how well-meaning—offer a one-size-fits-all solution to something so deeply personal?

The truth is, advice often comes easily from the outside. But living through trauma, healing, and growth? That’s an inside job.

I chose not to follow that suggestion. Not out of arrogance, but out of self-trust. I decided to turn inward instead of outward. I wanted to find my own way of healing—one that honored my story, my pace, and my truth.

So I stopped chasing external guidance. I stopped listening to voices that claimed to know what was best for me. And instead, I listened to the quiet, persistent voice inside me—the one that had been drowned out for too long. It wasn’t always easy, and it certainly wasn’t fast. But over time, that choice changed everything.

Today, I can say with confidence that I have not just recovered—I have grown, evolved, and begun to thrive. But what saddens me is how often I see others falling into the same trap: thinking someone else has the answers they’re looking for.

Here’s what I want to say to anyone who might feel lost or broken:
You are not a problem to be fixed by someone else. You are a human being capable of healing, in your own way and on your own terms.

Yes, support is important. Guidance can be helpful. But at the end of the day, only you can walk your path. Only you can truly know what you need. And only you can decide what kind of life you want to live.

So trust yourself.
Honor your journey.
And remember: it’s your life—and you know best how to live it.

TAKE A STAND. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. RESIST.

 

TAKE A STAND. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. RESIST.

Let’s not sugarcoat it — we’re living in an age of manufactured consent, weaponized lies, and systemic gaslighting.

Once, to stand with the truth was an act of moral clarity. Today, it’s a revolutionary act. Because in this neoliberal capitalist hellscape, truth isn’t just inconvenient — it’s dangerous. It threatens the polished veneers of power, the profit machines, the corporate empires, the bought-out politicians, and the puppet masters in the media.

The truth? It’s being slaughtered.

Every. Single. Day.

Sliced up, twisted into soundbites, buried beneath headlines designed to distract, distort, and dumb us down. It’s not a mistake — it’s the system working exactly as it was designed to. Injustice thrives because the truth is anesthetized, mocked, and sold back to us in the form of slogans and spectacle.

And those who dare to stand with it? They’re not praised — they’re punished. Silenced. Criminalized. Branded as “radical,” “extremist,” “unpatriotic,” or “naïve.” Activists are surveilled. Whistleblowers are exiled. Journalists are jailed. The ones who speak up are cast out, not because they’re wrong, but because they’re right — and that terrifies the establishment.

Courtrooms are corrupted. Laws are weaponized. The media is complicit. Justice is a performance, staged for those with power, while the rest of us are told to shut up, stay in line, and scroll.

So what do we do?

We refuse to comply. We refuse to be complicit. We refuse to be silent.

To stand with the truth today is to enter the fight. It means rejecting the illusion of neutrality — because neutrality in the face of oppression is betrayal. It means recognizing that we are all part of a system that profits off lies — and choosing to fight back anyway.

It’s time to accept responsibility. Not the individualistic kind sold to us by self-help gurus and billionaires pretending to be saviors, but collective responsibility. The kind that links our voices, our stories, and our struggles together in resistance.

Because the truth doesn’t need saviors — it needs accomplices.

So take a stand. Speak out. Organize. Uplift. Unlearn. Resist.

The truth is under attack.

Will you protect it — or pretend you never saw it bleeding?

The Invisible Weight: The Emotional Toll of Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence

 

The Invisible Weight: The Emotional Toll of Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence

Working with women who are survivors or current victims of domestic violence is not just a professional responsibility—it’s a deeply emotional and often overwhelming experience. It is never easy. While I’ve committed myself to being a source of support, the emotional weight of their trauma often seeps into my own mental and emotional well-being.

There are moments when the urgency of their need collides with the fragility of my own mental state. Sometimes, women reach out in the middle of the night, desperate and afraid, because there’s no one else they can turn to. Just a few nights ago, one of my clients called me at 1:00 a.m. Her husband, heavily intoxicated, had beaten her and thrown her out of the house—into the freezing winter night. She had nowhere to go. No one else to call. In those moments, being her only support is a privilege—but also a burden that leaves lasting echoes in my mind.

On another occasion, I was scheduled to give an important interview. Just an hour and a half before the scheduled time, a woman called me in tears. Her voice shook with fear, pain, and desperation. She needed immediate help. I listened, comforted, and tried to guide her—but emotionally, it left me shaken. I carried that pain with me into the interview, and I couldn’t give it my best. As a human, I was disturbed. Her pain had become mine, and it was difficult to compartmentalize.

Many times, when I listen to the harrowing stories of abuse, violence, and betrayal, a deep anger rises within me. It’s not just a reaction to the injustice these women face, but also a reflection of my own unresolved emotions. Even as a child, I found it difficult to tolerate injustice. It would agitate me, unsettle me. And now, hearing these stories—each one a saga of pain, survival, and shattered dignity—it sometimes opens old wounds within me. Wounds I thought had healed.

These experiences are a reminder that supporting survivors is not just about offering services or professional counsel. It is about carrying a piece of their pain, being present in their most vulnerable moments, and sometimes, losing parts of yourself in the process.

But despite the emotional toll, I continue. Because every call answered, every woman heard, and every moment spent with a survivor fighting for dignity is worth it.

Learning the Practical Application of Human Rights

 Memories 

June 2017 at Gandhi Peace Foundation, Delhi 

with PUCL Interns 

The journey of understanding and applying human rights in real-world scenarios is a continuous one. Every case of a human rights violation brings with it unique circumstances and challenges, demanding a tailored approach. In the context of India, where the socio-political dynamics are complex and evolving, these violations are becoming increasingly frequent and, at times, more severe. Navigating this landscape requires more than just theoretical knowledge—it calls for hands-on experience, critical thinking, and empathy.

As a human rights professional, one is constantly learning—each day brings new insights, challenges, and perspectives. The field of human rights is dynamic and deeply intertwined with evolving political, social, and cultural realities. No two cases are ever truly alike; each presents its own set of complexities, requiring critical thinking, contextual understanding, and adaptability. Whether it's understanding emerging forms of discrimination, navigating legal frameworks, or responding to shifting public sentiments, the learning never stops. Engaging with diverse communities, listening to survivors, and collaborating with colleagues across disciplines further enriches this ongoing process. Ultimately, this continuous learning is not just a professional necessity—it is a moral imperative that strengthens one’s ability to advocate effectively and compassionately for justice and dignity.

I consider myself fortunate to have had the opportunity to work alongside some of the most respected figures in the field of human rights. Their experience, commitment, and strategic thinking have been invaluable learning resources for me. Collaborating with them allowed me to observe the importance of detail-oriented analysis in every case. Whether it’s a minor infraction or a major abuse, every incident demands a nuanced understanding of the law, the context, and the people involved.

From these experiences, I’ve come to appreciate the necessity of building thoughtful, well-informed strategies to resist oppression and advocate for justice effectively. Human rights work is not just about standing up against injustice—it’s about doing so with clarity, compassion, and a clear plan of action. This practical learning has not only deepened my commitment to the cause but also sharpened my ability to contribute meaningfully to it.

Some of the important learnings for this session are:

Human Rights are not abstract concepts. For the subjugated, the language of rights is essential for articulating everyday oppression, including the denial of basic entitlements such as education, health care, housing, employment opportunities, erosion of livelihoods, land alienation, displacement, and all forms of violence.

Against this complex hierarchy of unspeakable suffering, the rights discourse holds the state accountable and compels it to recognize the rights of the marginalized for meaningful survival.

The Scars That Speak: A Woman’s Quiet Revolution

 

Maya Angelou once said, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it, possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”

I didn’t fully grasp the weight of those words when I was in the thick of my own storm—living a reality that felt like a waking nightmare. Everything I had known collapsed in an instant. It was as though the light vanished from the world, leaving me trapped in an all-consuming darkness.

That period was marked by unbearable pain—an agony so deep, so raw, it felt like my very soul was being torn apart. It was a chapter of grief, humiliation, and silent screams, one I wished I could erase from memory. But some pain doesn’t fade. It lingers. It embeds itself in your spirit. Each day that passes doesn’t dull the wounds—it sharpens them. 

In a world shaped by patriarchal norms, society rarely allows a woman to forget. It reminds her constantly of her place, of its expectations, of her so-called limitations.

The most painful betrayal came not just from strangers, but from those I once believed would shield me—family, colleagues, friends. Those in positions of power who could help, instead, looked away—or worse, twisted the knife deeper. At times, it felt like I was standing alone, abandoned by the very people I thought would stand beside me.

But here’s the truth that emerged from the ashes like a phoenix: I survived.

Through the searing hurt, through the silence and solitude, I endured. And in that endurance, something powerful awakened. I wasn’t just surviving—I was transforming. Each scar, each emotional wound, became a mark of resistance, a badge of resilience. Where once there was only sorrow, now there was strength. My pain became my power.

These scars, though invisible to the eye, carry stories. They tell of a woman who refused to be broken, who faced the darkness and chose to rise, again and again. And in rising, I found a new kind of freedom—not the absence of fear, but the refusal to be ruled by it. I began to imagine a different world—a freer one. One where women are not silenced but heard. Not shamed, but empowered.

This, I believe, is what Maya Angelou meant. Courage is not the absence of suffering; it’s the quiet determination to rise despite it. When a woman dares to take a stand—even unknowingly—she becomes a beacon for others. She becomes the voice, the hope, the fight for every woman who has ever been told to stay silent.

In reclaiming myself, I was reclaiming space for others, too. That is the legacy of courage. That is the revolution of simply standing up. This is my version of feminism. 

MN Roy Memorial Lecture 2017 on Free Speech, Nationalism and Sedition

 

12 May 2017 

Speaker: Hon'ble Justice Ajit Prakash Shah

Chair: Hon'ble Justice Jasti Chelameswar 

"There is a spiritual affinity between international Fascism and parochial and revivalist nationalism. That spiritual affinity persuades the average Indian nationalist to believe that the victory of Fascism will not in any way be prejudicial for India’s aspiration to freedom."

MN Roy, 1941

https://www.academia.edu/125515563/MN_Roy_Speech_on_Freedom_and_Fascism_with_background_note

"A nationalism with a revivalist programme cannot naturally appreciate the value of human progress made in the epoch of modern civilization. As a matter of fact, to derive the achievements of modern civilization has been the characteristic feature of orthodox Indian nationalism."

MN Roy, 1941

https://www.academia.edu/125515563/MN_Roy_Speech_on_Freedom_and_Fascism_with_background_note

M.N. Roy, writing in 1941, astutely observed the ideological kinship between international Fascism and parochial, revivalist nationalism. He argued that this “spiritual affinity” led many Indian nationalists of the time to believe—mistakenly—that the rise of Fascism posed no threat to India's quest for independence. This delusion, he warned, stemmed from a shared hostility to modern democratic values and rational progress.

Roy further noted that a nationalism grounded in revivalist sentiment was ill-equipped to recognize or value the advancements of modern civilization. In fact, he argued, orthodox Indian nationalism often made a point of rejecting the very foundations of modernity—reason, individual liberty, and human rights—in favor of a glorified, mythic past.

These reflections remain strikingly relevant today.

In 2017, former Chief Justice of the Delhi High Court, Justice A.P. Shah, invoked M.N. Roy’s critique during his MN Roy Memorial Lecture titled "Free Speech, Nationalism & Sedition," delivered on April 19 in New Delhi. Justice Shah highlighted the perils of narrow, exclusionary nationalism—echoing Roy’s concern that such ideologies often pave the way for authoritarianism rather than genuine freedom.

Justice Shah also examined the outdated and colonial nature of India’s sedition law, which still relies on the 1870 definition inherited from British rule. Contrasting India’s continued enforcement of sedition statutes with the UK’s repeal of its own sedition laws, he pointed out how many democracies have moved toward abolishing or substantially reforming such laws, recognizing them as incompatible with free expression in a modern, democratic society.

Roy’s warnings from 1941 and Justice Shah’s reflections in 2017 converge on a vital point: freedom and democracy cannot flourish under the shadow of dogmatic nationalism and legal repression. If India is to remain true to the spirit of its constitutional ideals, it must embrace progress, pluralism, and the free contestation of ideas, not a regression into authoritarian nostalgia.

The text of the speech is available here http://sacw.net/article13222.html 

The Founding Mothers: 15 Women Architects of Indian Constitution

 The Book Release event that took place on March 8, 2016

Justice Kurien Joseph 

Professor Mridula Mukherjee

Professor Bulbul Sharma

Pamela Philipose 

Dr MP Raju

Shabnam Hashmi

Sr Mary Scaria

Shalu Nigam 

At this book event, one of the most significant and thought-provoking concerns raised was the continued neglect of the Founding Mothers in post-colonial India. Why have the women who contributed so meaningfully to the freedom struggle and the building of modern India been so systematically erased from our national consciousness? Why do their stories remain footnotes, if mentioned at all, in our mainstream history, public discourse, or institutional memory?

This silence becomes even more troubling when placed in the broader context of India’s post-independence journey. Despite constitutional guarantees of equality, decades of democratic governance, and growing conversations around gender justice, women still remain strikingly underrepresented in the highest echelons of power. Whether in the judiciary, the Parliament, or key positions within bureaucratic and academic institutions, the absence of women—especially in leadership roles—is stark.

The question, then, is not only about historical neglect but also about the systemic barriers that continue to limit women’s advancement. Structural patriarchy, tokenism, lack of mentorship, societal expectations, and institutional inertia all contribute to this ongoing marginalization. Even where legal frameworks exist to promote gender equality, their implementation is often half-hearted or obstructed by deep-rooted biases.

This raises urgent questions about the kind of democracy we have built—one that, despite its commitments on paper, has struggled to ensure equal participation and recognition for half of its population. Recognizing the contributions of the Founding Mothers is not only a matter of historical justice; it is also a political and cultural necessity. Their stories have the power to inspire new generations, challenge dominant narratives, and push institutions to reflect the inclusive ideals enshrined in our Constitution.

The Founding Mothers: 15 Women Architects of the Indian Constitution

 THE FOUNDING MOTHERS: 15 Women Architects of the Indian Constitution

2016

A Book 

by Sr Mary Scaria and Shalu Nigam 

Media House Delhi 

In 2016, when we began the task of collecting material on the Founding Mothers of India—women who played pivotal roles in the country’s freedom struggle—we were met with a troubling silence in digital spaces. Information was sparse, fragmented, and often buried beneath layers of male-centric historical narratives. It quickly became clear that these women, despite their immense sacrifices and contributions, had been largely overlooked by mainstream historical discourse.

This erasure raises a deeply unsettling question: Why have these remarkable women been ignored when they stood shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts in the fight for independence? They organized protests, led movements, endured imprisonment, and gave voice to the voiceless—yet their stories remain absent from our collective memory.

Even more troubling is the fact that educational institutions—schools, colleges, and even law schools—rarely include them in their curricula. History textbooks offer only passing references, if any, and students grow up learning about a selective and incomplete version of the freedom struggle. The absence of these narratives not only does a disservice to the legacy of these women but also deprives future generations of diverse role models who embody courage, resilience, and leadership.

It is disheartening to witness this historical neglect. Recognizing and honoring the Founding Mothers is not merely a matter of academic interest—it is a necessary step toward a more inclusive and truthful retelling of our past. Their stories deserve to be told, studied, and celebrated with the same reverence afforded to their male counterparts. Only then can we begin to repair the gaps in our national memory and truly understand the richness of our freedom struggle.

When the mainstream discourse has forgotten the women who played a significant role in the making of the Indian Constitution, this book was the first of its kind to put together brief profiles of those 15 women who drafted the Constitution. These women include 

Ammu Swaminathan

Annie Mascarene.

Begum Aizaz Rasul

Dakshayani Velayudhan

Durgabai Deshmukh.

Hansa Mehta

Kamala Chaudhri

Leela Roy

Malati Devi Choudhury

Purnima Banerjee

Rajkumari Amrit Kaur

Renuka Ray

Sarojini Naidu

Sucheta Kripalani.

Vijayalakshmi Pandit.

These women played a significant role in the freedom struggle. Many have dedicated their lives despite facing misogyny. They left a long-lasting legacy. They were an inspiration for future generations of women.  

Though one of the critiques being raised is that many of them are from the elite classes, they played a pivotal role in crafting women's rights as equal citizens. When a section of the orthodox nationalists sees women as mothers, wives, and daughters, it is the progressive discourse that demands women's equal rights.  

Write with a Purpose

 Write with a Purpose

Reading and writing serve a wide range of purposes, from simple enjoyment to the transmission of knowledge, to theoretical or academic discourse, and even to raising awareness or influencing policy changes. Writing can serve as a powerful tool for communication, advocacy, education, and transformation. For me, however, writing has always been about creating change—whether that’s in a community, in individuals, or within systems.

While my academic training equipped me with research methods and theoretical frameworks, I quickly realized that their real-world application was more complex than what was taught in the classroom. Theories, no matter how well-constructed, often fail to account for the nuances of lived experience. In practice, one must continually adapt and refine theories based on what is observed on the ground. This has been one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my social work journey.

Professional social work taught me the importance of bridging theory and practice, and this connection forms a continuous cycle of growth and reflection. Theories provide a foundational understanding, but it’s the real-world experiences—those lived on the ground—that bring them to life and give them meaning. Through writing, I strive to document these experiences and, in doing so, not only connect them to the academic theories I’ve learned but also challenge and expand those theories. This dynamic interplay between theory and practice allows both to evolve, making the writing process itself a vehicle for transformation.

Both in law and social sciences, theory cannot exist in a vacuum. Legal principles, much like social science theories, need to be rooted in real-world experiences to be truly effective and impactful.

In the field of law, this connection is especially critical. The theoretical concepts of justice, rights, and equity must be applied to the concrete realities faced by clients. A lawyer's role goes beyond just understanding the technicalities of the law; it’s about translating those abstract principles into arguments that are grounded in the specific facts and circumstances of the case. Whether it's a criminal defense attorney advocating for fairness or a family lawyer fighting for a child's best interests, the legal framework must always be aligned with the human experience it seeks to govern or protect.

Similarly, in social sciences, theories are developed to explain human behavior, societal structures, and relationships. But these theories are only meaningful when connected to the lived experiences of individuals and communities. A theory about social inequality, for example, needs to be tested and refined through real-world data, observations, and interactions. Without this grounding, such theories remain theoretical abstractions, disconnected from the struggles and realities they aim to address.

This dynamic of theory meeting practice—whether in law, social work, or any other field—creates a powerful feedback loop. Theory helps guide action, but real-world action, in turn, challenges and refines theory. Both must evolve together for any meaningful change to occur. So, in both law and social science, it’s not enough to study or apply theory in isolation. We must always consider the practical realities, ensuring that the legal or theoretical frameworks are relevant, applicable, and just in the context of real people's lives.

Therefore, writing is not just an intellectual exercise; it is a tool for social change. It’s about giving voice to the realities of the people I work with, understanding their experiences through both theoretical and practical lenses, and sharing insights that can lead to meaningful action and reform. Through this approach, I hope my writing contributes to a larger dialogue—one that moves from ideas to action, from theory to tangible impact.

I Love My Scars

 I Love My Scars

We live in a world where women’s bodies are treated like products—packaged, polished, perfected for sale. In a capitalist, patriarchal society, the female body is not owned by the woman herself. It is scrutinized, sized, sexualized, and commodified. We are bombarded with messages about how we should look—fair skin, flawless features, the “right” curves in the “right” places, zero wrinkles, zero stretch marks, zero signs of real life. The capitalist patriarchal society does everything to body-shame a woman. 

From beauty creams that promise to lighten our skin, to plastic surgeries that reshape our features, to fitness industries that obsess over waistlines—this economy thrives on our supposed imperfections. Women are made to feel as though they are never enough. And as we internalize these expectations, self-hatred is sold to us as self-improvement. Insecurity becomes profitable. Shame becomes marketable. Capitalism has turned our bodies into battlegrounds, and our confidence into a currency.

But I reject this model. I reject this cruel, exhausting game of chasing an illusion. I reject the idea that beauty lies in smoothness, symmetry, or silence.

I love my scars.

Every scar on my body tells a story. A story of survival. Of resistance. Of living through things that were meant to break me, but didn’t. My scars are not flaws. They are evidence of my survival and resistance against the injustice I faced. They are declarations that I’ve fought, that I’ve endured, that I’ve made it through nights darker than my skin, and wounds deeper than any cosmetic brand could cover.

I refuse to erase the parts of me that capitalism calls “ugly.” I refuse to hide my stretch marks, my wrinkles, my burnt patches, my uneven tone. I am not here to be consumed or approved of. My body is not a product. It is a testament.

I no longer stand before the mirror and search for what needs to be fixed. I now ask myself: What needs to be celebrated?

This rejection is not just personal—it’s political. When I say I love my scars, I am also saying: I reject your billion-dollar industry that feeds on human insecurity. I reject your advertisements that teach girls to hate themselves. I reject your narrow standards of beauty that erase entire cultures, skin tones, and body types. I reject the lie that looking “perfect” will bring freedom.

Loving my scars is my rebellion. It is my refusal to conform. It is my way of healing from a system that tried to convince me I was broken.

Because I am not broken. I am whole—with my scars, with my history, with my unfiltered body. And I am not alone. Women across the world are waking up, unlearning, and reclaiming. We are not buying into your standards anymore. We are creating our own.

So no, I will not hide. I will not conceal. I will not shrink.

I love my scars.
Because they are mine.
Because they speak the truth in a world that profits from lies.
Because they remind me—I survived, and I’m still here.

Dowry Abuse: A Worse Neglect

 Dowry Abuse: A Worse Neglect

That day, I met the family of a young woman fighting for her life. She had suffered 70% burns—her body charred, her spirit barely clinging on. Her crime? She hadn’t brought enough dowry. Her husband and in-laws wanted ₹5 lakhs and a car. When demands weren’t met, they responded with fire. This wasn’t an isolated incident—it was a chilling example of a widespread, deeply entrenched violence that we, as a society, continue to ignore or normalize.

Dowry giving and taking are illegal in India. The Dowry Prohibition Act has been in place for over six decades. Yet, this practice thrives—openly, shamelessly. In most North Indian households, dowry isn’t a cultural relic of the past—it’s a living, breathing system. From the moment a girl is born, her parents begin saving, not for her education or well-being, but for her wedding. Not for her dreams, but for her departure. Not for her life, but for her transaction.

It’s a kind of slow, sanctioned violence. Parents skip investing in a girl’s health, her ambitions, her voice—but they will spend their lives accumulating gold and gifts. The irony is cruel: Indian families rarely train girls to win medals or accolades; instead, they train them to remain quiet, to endure, and eventually to be handed over like goods in an auction—decorated in jewelry, burdened with shame, and told this is what makes a “good daughter.”

And dowry doesn’t ensure safety. It doesn’t buy love, respect, or dignity. The myth that it secures a girl’s future is one of the most dangerous lies ever sold. A woman can bring a million rupees and still be harassed, tortured, or killed. Because the issue isn’t just the money—it’s the idea that women are liabilities. That they must "earn" their place in a household with gifts and submission.

I know this intimately—not just from my work as a lawyer, researcher, and social worker, but from my own life.

My parents, too, saved obsessively for my marriage. They spent more on ceremonies, jewelry, gifts, and dowry than they ever did on supporting my aspirations. I remember telling them—insisting—that I didn’t want dowry. That I didn’t even want to get married. I wanted to study, to dream, to build a life on my own terms. But my voice was drowned in emotional blackmail.

“What will society say?”
“What will the relatives think?”
“What kind of parents don’t give anything to their daughter?”

They weren’t worried about my happiness. They weren’t listening to my dreams. They were held hostage by the judgments of a rotten society that punishes the bold and rewards the complicit. My refusal didn’t matter. My discomfort didn’t matter. What mattered was “what people would say.”

And I ask—when will this change? When will parents value their daughters as human beings, not as burdens to be packaged and handed off with bribes disguised as blessings? When will girls stop being raised for marriage and start being raised for life? Who will smash this deeply embedded patriarchy? 

Dowry is not just a cultural “expectation.” It is a crime. It is a human rights violation. And the silence around it—especially among the educated, the middle class, the so-called “progressive” families—is deafening.

The Indian society must stop romanticizing extravagant weddings and start asking uncomfortable questions. We must stop calling dowry “gifts” and name it for what it is: extortion. We must challenge every ritual, every tradition, every pressure that demands a woman pay for her place in society with gold and obedience.

And most of all, society must teach girls that they are not commodities. They do not have to buy love or acceptance. That they do not have to play along with systems that are designed to destroy them.

Dowry abuse is the fault of the in-laws who demand dowry and commit violence. It is also the failure of every parent who believes a daughter's worth is measured in ornaments. It is the failure of every community that prefers a "settled marriage" over an educated girl with dreams. It is the failure of the state, of the courts, of law enforcement that looks away until it’s too late—until a woman is burned, bruised, broken, or dead.

Enough is enough.

This is not just about one woman in a hospital bed. It’s about a system that kills women slowly, through silence, shame, and gold.

Let us stop asking “what will society say,” and start asking:
What will it take to end this violence?

Yes, I Am a Woman…..

 28 July, 2014

Countercurrents.org

On the occasion of this Independence Day, I continue to fight for my independence as a common woman, as a citizen of this free nation and more importantly as a human being…

Yes, I am a woman and I am proud of myself. I am strong and I am growing stronger by each passing moment. I am an independent, fearless, free thinking woman making choices at every step reaffirming my pride, contesting for my dignity and in the process shaping and writing my own destiny….

I am the one with vision you see carrying bricks on construction sites...

I am a woman toiling in an agriculture field awaiting for the crop of my imagination to be harvested...

I am a worker working in a textile organization weaving my hopes in the garments I knit…

I am a student with dreams in my eyes, cycling or running after buses…

I am a scientist inventing and imagining, an architect, shaping and cementing the foundations of the new India carving it out from the old…

I am an office goer craving to fulfill my aspirations you can see in a train or a metro…

I am a teacher with a desire to inspire the future generation…

I am a health worker continuously striving to create a healthy India…

I am an engineer with a conviction of building a bright future…

I am a house worker carrying out loads of work with thoughts of sending my daughters to the moon…

I am a woman with courage walking with a pitcher in village carrying water to miles…

I am a woman with hope and optimism cooking food, cleaning house, managing farms, factories and corporate offices….

Because I am a dreamer, believer, creator and a doer ….

I may not be having a fair, bright skin, long shiny hair or a thin hourglass figure as promoted by corporate and media. I do not believe in all such lies and false standards for I am a real woman and real persons cannot be defined, contained and shaped, labeled or designed, mocked or ridiculed by anyone. I am a common Indian woman who takes pride in herself and choose to believe in myself, my strengths, my qualities, skills and abilities.…

I am a daughter of an independent India and a successor of Gargi, Maitrayee, Razia Sultana, Mirabai, Rani Lakhsmi Bai, Kittur Chennamma, Pandita Ramabai, Sarojini Naidu, Vijay Lakshmi Pandit, Kasturba Gandhi, Aruna Asaf Ali, Raj Kumari Amrita Kaur, Annie Besant, Capt Lakshmi Sehgal, Irom Sharmila Chanu and millions of other women who struggled or are working hard not only against the colonial rulers but also against the hegemony of oppression and exploitation imposed by dominant caste, class and patriarchy, so the coming generations could have a better future. I pledge that efforts of generations of women will not go in vain, that I the descendant of their courage and audacity will strive for justice till I get it….

I have been teased, molested, raped, beaten, murdered, tortured, discriminated against, violated, yet I survived all and rose from ashes like a phoenix, much stronger, much powerful and much tough. Bend me or break me, rape me or kill me, I will not give up. Nothing could destroy my soul or my spirit….

I reside in every Mathura, Bhanwari Devi, Shah Bano, Ammena, Rupan Deol Bajaj, Tarvinder Kaur, Roop Kanwar, Imrana, Gudiya, Soni Suri, Nirbhaya and identify myself as every other girl who is being raped, burned, abducted, brutalized daily in each and every nook and corner of India and yet fought back against perpetrators in some or the other way….

I am not a silent spectator of my brutal violations. I am not a victim, rather I am a survivor. I raise my voice in Parliament, I come out on streets against injustice, I struggle against World Bank, IMF and its Structural Adjustment Programmes, and similar such instruments which played a significant role in `feminization of poverty', I even resist at home and workplace against discrimination and violence, I stand to protect my right to water, to forest, to land, to livelihood and most importantly right to a dignified life. My voice can't be suppressed, restrained or smothered….

I agitated when the Supreme Court of India released the two policemen who raped me, tribal girl inside a police station, I revolted when during 80s the part of me was burned alive for greed, lust and consumerism in the form of dowry, I protested when I was immolated as sati, I dissented against any tradition or practice which tried to kill me before, at or after my birth because I am a girl, I raised my voice against rising the height of the dam which tended to destroy everything in the name of development, I challenged Norplant and any such procedures which denies me of my right to health, I dare to protest as a law intern against a Supreme court judge who molested me, I hugged the tree in forests when my rights to forest were denied, I created a revolution in North East against rape by military and para military forces, I resisted against fundamentalism which showed its ugly face in the form of communal riots, I raised my dissent when those in the judicial fraternity threw my petition on the ground that upper caste men cannot rape a dalit woman, I declared war against those who kidnapped young children at Nithari, I went against my boss, an editor of a magazine who molested me, I initiated anti arrack movement in different places, I struggled to get my right to livelihood, health and education, I stand against acid attacks, I rise against honour killing and witch hunting, I protested when I was raped in a moving bus in Delhi and I screamed at the top of my voice when I was raped and hanged by the tree in Badaun, and I will keep on doing that until I get respect and justice I deserve, I will keep on fighting continuously, for my dignity, my pride, my self- respect, my empowerment, my emancipation ….

I fight against poverty; I struggle against patriarchy – patriarchy which exists within family, at workplace, at public spaces and within mindset; I reject the notion of a deep-rooted, misogynist tradition-fed gender hierarchy - defined, dominated and exploited by few; I challenge free market economic policies and such reforms which take away my rights to peaceful existence; I resist against fundamentalism; I protest against oppression in any form. I voice my concerns for my space, for equality and for equal opportunities….

Born in free India, I strive to realize my constitutional right to dignified life – a life free from discrimination of all kinds. I negotiate to bridge the gap between political ideals and realities. I assert for my lawful rights, claims and entitlements and not ‘welfare programmes or scheme' given as a dole within socio-political arena. I endeavor to lead a life free from violence, right to enjoy privileges including that of water, food, education, health, land and all other amenities essential for civilized living….

I call my family to allow me to be born, and care for me as much they care for their sons, not to discriminate against me, provide me with the opportunity to get health, food and education and not marry me at an early age, not to give or demand dowry, not to inflict violence including incest, because I am powerless in certain situations….

I demand for equality in opportunities at the workplace, a work environment free from any discrimination or workplace violence…

I urge upon the society to give up misogynistic patriarchal attitude that results in violating my dignity and pride and in customs like female foeticide, honour killing, witch hunting, trafficking, buying and selling women as brides….

I am of the view that patriarchy must be abolished. In the independent India, all such practices that are offensive to anyone should be declared illegal and unconstitutional….

I am against capitalistic patriarchy that commodifies women and promote gender stereotypes that discriminate against women. I confront imperialism in its new avatar of globalization and liberalization which has led to increasing restrictions to my space, access to resources, destroyed indigenous skills and knowledge system, harmed the local ecology and devastated local forest, water systems and land.….

I defy all challenges in my way placed by fundamentalist and communal forces to exclude me, deny me visibility, keeping me propertyless and resourceless for vested interests…

I resist against militarization and nuclearization which promote brutal ways of life taking most of the budgetary provisions while denying basics …

I also demand to enact Women's Reservation Bill, enabling policies for single women and laws that strive for fair treatment. I propose to reconsider all the laws that are patriarchal, patrilineal and biased and support implementation of those laws which promote equality….

I insist that all those who opine that women misuse laws against rape or domestic violence law to just think once from a perspective of that woman who is being raped, or has survived violence within the confines of `safety and security' of home or public place; women are being raped in marital relations and in public spaces, tortured, humiliated, brutalized, murdered; the society cannot close its eyes to such incidences that are happening day in and day out. The data and statistics available with the National Crime Record Bureau and other organizations cannot be negated; the incidences reported everyday cannot be overlooked and these are only a tip of an iceberg as many of cases are not even taken to the police stations or courts. The NCRB report 2013 shows that during the year, 309546 cases were reported for crime against women which implies that so many women are being harmed in some way or the other. This is apart from rape cases which were reported as 33707 and dowry deaths cases which were 8083 in number. This data also indicates that 162238 cases were disposed of by the police, where charge sheet has been submitted in 93386 cases, investigation is pending in 50129 cases, final report (true) has been submitted in 7808 cases and only in 10864 (only 6%) cases the charges are found to be false or were treated as the mistake of law in cruelty against women cases. That is when the attitude and mindset generally is gender biased. So where is the misuse of the law? Impunity is only adding to the crime. Please be awake! And listen to those voices screaming for fairness…

I suggest to those who whine that women are abusing laws, that the number of cases are increasing as more and more women are getting aware of their rightful entitlements which have been denied to them for generations. Their voices have been suppressed for decades, but now is the time for REVOLUTION. More and more women are ready to speak up and will be claiming what is theirs!

I would like to tell those who go by the approach that `Boys will be Boys' that this patriarchal ideology to defend the crime only promoted `goondaism'. That even `girls are girls', but are mature, independent and sensible. Now, it is the time for the boys to catch up to be more responsible, wise and prudent… And many have been as depicted in the recent protests on women's rights issues when they join hands with women against violence. I salute them….

I plead all those leaders from politics, religious and other groups, who issue such statements that defy, disregard, disrespect, underestimate and misjudge dignity of women to consider the fact that women are equal citizens and humans; without them the existence of life will not be possible....

I hope that the State will ensure that half of the country's population be treated with respect as equal citizens and will receive justice in all forms – social, economic, political…

I argue that personal is political. There should not be private women sphere and public men space as asserted by patriarchy, as everything I do in personal sphere has effect on political arena...

Further, I believe, I am a change. Change begins with me. I resist, therefore I exist. I critically examine myself every day, every moment….

You may call me a family breaker but I am not against the institution of family; rather I fight against patriarchy and inequality within the family; I am not against religion but I combat communalism; I am not against indigenous culture however I resist patriarchy, sexism, discriminatory, stereotypical and misogynistic attitude; I am not striving for equality with men nevertheless I want to be an equal partner taking decisions in creating a society free from violence or discrimination. I am working to empower and emancipate myself. More than being ideological, my struggle is pragmatic….

Yes, I am a feminist and an activist and I take pride in it. No, I do not shy away from my identity which has given me an understanding to fight for my rights, to strive for justice, to struggle for freedom and endeavor for my self-respect. I dare to exhibit courage, confidence, audacity, till women in this country truly achieve independence…

Shalu Nigam is currently working with the Centre for Women Development Studies, New Delhi. The views expressed here are personal. She can be contacted at shalu_nigam@rediffmail.com

 

Yes, I Am a Woman…..

 28 July, 2014

Countercurrents.org

On the occasion of this Independence Day, I continue to fight for my independence as a common woman, as a citizen of this free nation and more importantly as a human being…

Yes, I am a woman and I am proud of myself. I am strong and I am growing stronger by each passing moment. I am an independent, fearless, free thinking woman making choices at every step reaffirming my pride, contesting for my dignity and in the process shaping and writing my own destiny….

I am the one with vision you see carrying bricks on construction sites...

I am a woman toiling in an agriculture field awaiting for the crop of my imagination to be harvested...

I am a worker working in a textile organization weaving my hopes in the garments I knit…

I am a student with dreams in my eyes, cycling or running after buses…

I am a scientist inventing and imagining, an architect, shaping and cementing the foundations of the new India carving it out from the old…

I am an office goer craving to fulfill my aspirations you can see in a train or a metro…

I am a teacher with a desire to inspire the future generation…

I am a health worker continuously striving to create a healthy India…

I am an engineer with a conviction of building a bright future…

I am a house worker carrying out loads of work with thoughts of sending my daughters to the moon…

I am a woman with courage walking with a pitcher in village carrying water to miles…

I am a woman with hope and optimism cooking food, cleaning house, managing farms, factories and corporate offices….

Because I am a dreamer, believer, creator and a doer ….

I may not be having a fair, bright skin, long shiny hair or a thin hourglass figure as promoted by corporate and media. I do not believe in all such lies and false standards for I am a real woman and real persons cannot be defined, contained and shaped, labeled or designed, mocked or ridiculed by anyone. I am a common Indian woman who takes pride in herself and choose to believe in myself, my strengths, my qualities, skills and abilities.…

I am a daughter of an independent India and a successor of Gargi, Maitrayee, Razia Sultana, Mirabai, Rani Lakhsmi Bai, Kittur Chennamma, Pandita Ramabai, Sarojini Naidu, Vijay Lakshmi Pandit, Kasturba Gandhi, Aruna Asaf Ali, Raj Kumari Amrita Kaur, Annie Besant, Capt Lakshmi Sehgal, Irom Sharmila Chanu and millions of other women who struggled or are working hard not only against the colonial rulers but also against the hegemony of oppression and exploitation imposed by dominant caste, class and patriarchy, so the coming generations could have a better future. I pledge that efforts of generations of women will not go in vain, that I the descendant of their courage and audacity will strive for justice till I get it….

I have been teased, molested, raped, beaten, murdered, tortured, discriminated against, violated, yet I survived all and rose from ashes like a phoenix, much stronger, much powerful and much tough. Bend me or break me, rape me or kill me, I will not give up. Nothing could destroy my soul or my spirit….

I reside in every Mathura, Bhanwari Devi, Shah Bano, Ammena, Rupan Deol Bajaj, Tarvinder Kaur, Roop Kanwar, Imrana, Gudiya, Soni Suri, Nirbhaya and identify myself as every other girl who is being raped, burned, abducted, brutalized daily in each and every nook and corner of India and yet fought back against perpetrators in some or the other way….

I am not a silent spectator of my brutal violations. I am not a victim, rather I am a survivor. I raise my voice in Parliament, I come out on streets against injustice, I struggle against World Bank, IMF and its Structural Adjustment Programmes, and similar such instruments which played a significant role in `feminization of poverty', I even resist at home and workplace against discrimination and violence, I stand to protect my right to water, to forest, to land, to livelihood and most importantly right to a dignified life. My voice can't be suppressed, restrained or smothered….

I agitated when the Supreme Court of India released the two policemen who raped me, tribal girl inside a police station, I revolted when during 80s the part of me was burned alive for greed, lust and consumerism in the form of dowry, I protested when I was immolated as sati, I dissented against any tradition or practice which tried to kill me before, at or after my birth because I am a girl, I raised my voice against rising the height of the dam which tended to destroy everything in the name of development, I challenged Norplant and any such procedures which denies me of my right to health, I dare to protest as a law intern against a Supreme court judge who molested me, I hugged the tree in forests when my rights to forest were denied, I created a revolution in North East against rape by military and para military forces, I resisted against fundamentalism which showed its ugly face in the form of communal riots, I raised my dissent when those in the judicial fraternity threw my petition on the ground that upper caste men cannot rape a dalit woman, I declared war against those who kidnapped young children at Nithari, I went against my boss, an editor of a magazine who molested me, I initiated anti arrack movement in different places, I struggled to get my right to livelihood, health and education, I stand against acid attacks, I rise against honour killing and witch hunting, I protested when I was raped in a moving bus in Delhi and I screamed at the top of my voice when I was raped and hanged by the tree in Badaun, and I will keep on doing that until I get respect and justice I deserve, I will keep on fighting continuously, for my dignity, my pride, my self- respect, my empowerment, my emancipation ….

I fight against poverty; I struggle against patriarchy – patriarchy which exists within family, at workplace, at public spaces and within mindset; I reject the notion of a deep-rooted, misogynist tradition-fed gender hierarchy - defined, dominated and exploited by few; I challenge free market economic policies and such reforms which take away my rights to peaceful existence; I resist against fundamentalism; I protest against oppression in any form. I voice my concerns for my space, for equality and for equal opportunities….

Born in free India, I strive to realize my constitutional right to dignified life – a life free from discrimination of all kinds. I negotiate to bridge the gap between political ideals and realities. I assert for my lawful rights, claims and entitlements and not ‘welfare programmes or scheme' given as a dole within socio-political arena. I endeavor to lead a life free from violence, right to enjoy privileges including that of water, food, education, health, land and all other amenities essential for civilized living….

I call my family to allow me to be born, and care for me as much they care for their sons, not to discriminate against me, provide me with the opportunity to get health, food and education and not marry me at an early age, not to give or demand dowry, not to inflict violence including incest, because I am powerless in certain situations….

I demand for equality in opportunities at the workplace, a work environment free from any discrimination or workplace violence…

I urge upon the society to give up misogynistic patriarchal attitude that results in violating my dignity and pride and in customs like female foeticide, honour killing, witch hunting, trafficking, buying and selling women as brides….

I am of the view that patriarchy must be abolished. In the independent India, all such practices that are offensive to anyone should be declared illegal and unconstitutional….

I am against capitalistic patriarchy that commodifies women and promote gender stereotypes that discriminate against women. I confront imperialism in its new avatar of globalization and liberalization which has led to increasing restrictions to my space, access to resources, destroyed indigenous skills and knowledge system, harmed the local ecology and devastated local forest, water systems and land.….

I defy all challenges in my way placed by fundamentalist and communal forces to exclude me, deny me visibility, keeping me propertyless and resourceless for vested interests…

I resist against militarization and nuclearization which promote brutal ways of life taking most of the budgetary provisions while denying basics …

I also demand to enact Women's Reservation Bill, enabling policies for single women and laws that strive for fair treatment. I propose to reconsider all the laws that are patriarchal, patrilineal and biased and support implementation of those laws which promote equality….

I insist that all those who opine that women misuse laws against rape or domestic violence law to just think once from a perspective of that woman who is being raped, or has survived violence within the confines of `safety and security' of home or public place; women are being raped in marital relations and in public spaces, tortured, humiliated, brutalized, murdered; the society cannot close its eyes to such incidences that are happening day in and day out. The data and statistics available with the National Crime Record Bureau and other organizations cannot be negated; the incidences reported everyday cannot be overlooked and these are only a tip of an iceberg as many of cases are not even taken to the police stations or courts. The NCRB report 2013 shows that during the year, 309546 cases were reported for crime against women which implies that so many women are being harmed in some way or the other. This is apart from rape cases which were reported as 33707 and dowry deaths cases which were 8083 in number. This data also indicates that 162238 cases were disposed of by the police, where charge sheet has been submitted in 93386 cases, investigation is pending in 50129 cases, final report (true) has been submitted in 7808 cases and only in 10864 (only 6%) cases the charges are found to be false or were treated as the mistake of law in cruelty against women cases. That is when the attitude and mindset generally is gender biased. So where is the misuse of the law? Impunity is only adding to the crime. Please be awake! And listen to those voices screaming for fairness…

I suggest to those who whine that women are abusing laws, that the number of cases are increasing as more and more women are getting aware of their rightful entitlements which have been denied to them for generations. Their voices have been suppressed for decades, but now is the time for REVOLUTION. More and more women are ready to speak up and will be claiming what is theirs!

I would like to tell those who go by the approach that `Boys will be Boys' that this patriarchal ideology to defend the crime only promoted `goondaism'. That even `girls are girls', but are mature, independent and sensible. Now, it is the time for the boys to catch up to be more responsible, wise and prudent… And many have been as depicted in the recent protests on women's rights issues when they join hands with women against violence. I salute them….

I plead all those leaders from politics, religious and other groups, who issue such statements that defy, disregard, disrespect, underestimate and misjudge dignity of women to consider the fact that women are equal citizens and humans; without them the existence of life will not be possible....

I hope that the State will ensure that half of the country's population be treated with respect as equal citizens and will receive justice in all forms – social, economic, political…

I argue that personal is political. There should not be private women sphere and public men space as asserted by patriarchy, as everything I do in personal sphere has effect on political arena...

Further, I believe, I am a change. Change begins with me. I resist, therefore I exist. I critically examine myself every day, every moment….

You may call me a family breaker but I am not against the institution of family; rather I fight against patriarchy and inequality within the family; I am not against religion but I combat communalism; I am not against indigenous culture however I resist patriarchy, sexism, discriminatory, stereotypical and misogynistic attitude; I am not striving for equality with men nevertheless I want to be an equal partner taking decisions in creating a society free from violence or discrimination. I am working to empower and emancipate myself. More than being ideological, my struggle is pragmatic….

Yes, I am a feminist and an activist and I take pride in it. No, I do not shy away from my identity which has given me an understanding to fight for my rights, to strive for justice, to struggle for freedom and endeavor for my self-respect. I dare to exhibit courage, confidence, audacity, till women in this country truly achieve independence…

Shalu Nigam is currently working with the Centre for Women Development Studies, New Delhi. The views expressed here are personal. She can be contacted at shalu_nigam@rediffmail.com