What’s
in Thy Name?
Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet’s
passionate adventure noted, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ By
any other name would smell as sweet.” In another play, Hamlet, the protagonist
denounces his mother's swift remarriage with the statement, "Frailty, thy
name is a woman." As a feminist, centuries later, I see that this phrase has various connotations in different situations, calling vanity, thy name is
woman.
To
answer this famous question by Shakespeare, `What’s in thy name?’ I would say a lot. The name holds everything from
one’s identity to one’s existence as a human being. A person’s name denotes
one’s identity, one’s uniqueness, and one’s specific individuality. It is an
assertion of one’s self as a unique individual, a person in her own being. The
`name’ gives recognition to a person as an exceptional human being through which she
asserts her identity and existence.
Sigmund
Freud in his famous work Totem and Taboo noted, “A human being’s name is
a principal component of his person, perhaps a piece of his soul”. Names play
an instrumental role in determining the background, ethnicity, and gender. They reflect and shape social values. Name penetrates the core of our
being. Anthropologists determine names as a `cultural universal’. No society ever
exists without names.
A name provides a label to a `self’ it is a
way to relate to human existence rather than simply being alive. It is a symbol of self-awareness and the existence of one’s being, which may be differentiated from a simply living
object. In the context of language, it
is a symbol of self-identification. Name is a part of day-to-day human
existence. To greet someone or to meet anyone, the first thing a person
pronounces is his or her name. From an unofficial description of self to each
and every requirement on an official document, a name plays a significant role. A
person’s self-awareness and identity as a human exist in her name.
A name may represent a real person and define what she may be. Behind a title
or a label, there is a real person.
A
name does act as a kind of label of a brand of a person. Even in the academic
world, a person’s credibility is determined by the number of papers being
published in a reputed journal or several books she has written. A name, therefore, connects a
person to his or her accomplishments, network, fame, and credibility and plays a
significant role in determining his or her status in today’s fast-changing occupational
world.
Can
a different criterion be used to identify someone besides the name?
The
answer may be yes or no. Yes, because in a situation like a prison, a prisoner
may be recognized as by his number or in a hospital set up a person is
recognized as a bed number or in a government document a person can be
recognized through a file number, no, as that does not determine his or her
uniqueness as a human. S/he may hold an identity in these set up but that is
not a personal identity of a person as a human being as an individual with
distinct personal qualities or a discreet social background.
With
the introduction of the ration card, voter card, etc, different parameters are
being used to identify a person. Because of these technical interventions and the digitization of identity, people have been facing numerous problems.
A
name, therefore, helps an individual to relate to his or her personal and
social background. A person may not be
able to relate to a unique identification number, but may easily relate to her name. A particular name may or may not signify a meaning, yet it helps the
bearer to identify with herself. The culture, the language, and the
societal norms come together in the process of relating a human being to its
existence.
Name
Game
`Name’
is something that a person acquires by his or her birth. Sadly, one
cannot play an active role during that process of `naming’ self. A person’s
name is given to him by her parents, friends or relatives. However, a person does
have a choice during the whole tenure of her life to change this given name
because that name belongs to this person and as a feisty owner of her own name,
she has a right to change it at any given point of time.
However,
during the naming process, in many cultures, individuals are named in a manner that
may depict their linkages to their caste, clan, family, father’s name, place
etc, which signifies that a person does belong to that specific group. Thus, a
person’s name may have different specific components, an individual’s name, his
or her surname, and middle name, based on these factors as per cultural
prevalence, the study of which is interestingly called `Anthroponomy’.
In
many cultures, it is believed that the names bear a mystical, powerful force
on the bearers and may have a metaphysical influence on the bearer, determining her personality, characteristics, temperament etc. Naming a person is, nevertheless, not an easy process in many parts of the world. Besides astrological calculations
and cultural connotations there are legal implications in naming a person in
different parts of the globe.
In
India, generally, a child is named by her parents, kin etc, mostly after
consulting an astrologer. Often, different sections of society follow different
practices and rituals in naming a child. For example, among Hindus, during the
naming ceremony, a priest is called amongst pompous celebrations.
But in other parts of the world, including Europe, the USA, China, and Japan, parents need to follow certain rules while naming a child.
In most of these countries, parents need to register the name of the child at
the local government office which may disapprove the name in case it is deemed
to be offensive. However, as per the laws in many of these countries, an age
limit is prescribed for a person where she can register to change her name.
In
Germany, one has to register the name of the child to the officer of vital
statistics of the particular area, who may approve
the name on the basis of the gender of the child and ensures that the child is
not named after a product, object etc. Denmark
has a strict personal naming law in place. As per this law, parents cannot
choose any odd or fancy names for their children. The law states that the name
should indicate the gender of the child and that a last name cannot be used as
a first name. Similarly, in Norway, offensive last names are not allowed.
Iceland formed an `Icelandic Naming Committee’ in 1991, which
approves the names based on the fact that it should fit in Icelandic
culture, be grammatically correct, and must contain letters in the Icelandic
alphabets. A Name register is being maintained, and if parents want a different
name, they need to pay fee to seek approval for a new name. The law mandates that
the names should be gender specific and should be such that it should not
embarrass the child in the future. Even for surnames, there is an interesting
tradition which allows the use of the father’s or the mother’s name or the family’s
name that is being passed from generation to generation.
In Sweden, a naming law was enacted originally to prevent non-noble families from giving their children noble names. Later, it was changed to
include the clause that parents cannot name their children if that particular
name is found to be offensive or cause discomfort. Further, as per this law, a
person can change their name only once, and this must reflect the original name.
New Zealand’s Birth, Death and Marriage Registration Act, 1995, does
not allow offensive names, unreasonably long or resembling an official
title or rank. To change one’s name the person has to make a statutory
declaration for approval and registration under the law.
In Australia, people above 18 years of age may register to change their names
once in 12 months. UK laws allow anyone who is 16 to change his/her name.
Canada allows marriage certificates as evidence of a change of name after
marriage.
In Japan, the law ensures that all names should be easily read and
written in Japanese and it may restrict the names deemed inappropriate. The
laws in China recommend that a Chinese name should be simple, easily readable, and have easily identifiable characters. Technical capability rather than
appropriateness is the basis for naming in China. Article 99 of the General
Principles of Civil Law in China guarantees citizens the right to choose their
names. Under Article 22 of the Marriage Law, children can select the surname
of any parent.
The
laws in the USA regulate the change of name though a person can adopt any name
she desires, however, a court order is required to officially accept the
changed name by many institutions like banks and government offices. The
applicant is required to give an explanation to change his or her name. The law
prohibits the use of a name that misleads, is derogatory or offensive, for an unlawful purpose, incites violence, is obscene, is a racial slur, or is a threat.
Therefore,
globally, the naming process for identifying a person has acquired a special
significance either legally or culturally. Once acquired at birth, the name can
be changed by its owner at any given point of time though one has to fulfill
certain legal formalities to do so. Generally,
people across the globe change their birth names at adoption or marriage.
Changing
Name after Marriage and its Implications
Changing
one’s name after marriage, especially that of women is prevalent across many
cultures and countries across the globe. In North India, as in many cultures
across the world, where patriarchy dominates, traditionally a woman inherits
her surname or birth name from her father and changes it to match her husband's
surname, which he inherited from his father. Though this is not legally
binding, this tradition is strictly followed in many communities. Neither the
property law nor any other law demands statutory compliance from women to
change their names; however, this practice or custom has been continued for
generations.
For
many, this practice of naming based on male lineage is seen as reiterating
patriarchy. It may be construed as an extension of male domination as a father
before marriage and control of her husband after marriage. Female ancestors are
recognized in a matrilineal society; however, in a patriarchal setup up a female’s
surname is determined by her place of stay or, in a strictly traditional setup, by
her control and ownership patterns. The norms of patriarchy have been engrained
using strategies and tactics that permeate everyday living including that of
giving up one’s identity and one’s individuality.
Marriage
as an institution in a patriarchal context not only determines one’s daily
existence, but it also forces women to give up their birth identity and take up
the identity of their husbands. Further, the continuation of the male lineage is
ensured through the process where children born out of such wedlock take on the identity of the father. Personal laws enforce patriarchal norms through sets of
customs, rules and regulations that undermine the status of women within the domain
of family. They permeate day-to-day existence and life, including a simple
naming process.
In
the Western hemisphere, a strong movement emerged in the mid-nineteenth century
when Lucy Stone, a women's rights activist, initiated a movement against changing
birth name for women after marriage. According to her, “A wife should no more
take her husband's name than he should hers. My name is my identity and must
not be lost”. A Lucy Stone League was created. The practice of women keeping
their last names was popularized during the Women’s Rights Movement of the early
70s in the US, and peaked in the 1990s at 23 percent.
In
the early 20th century, a "Lucy Stoner" was the common name for those
who believed a woman had the right to keep the name she was born with, even
after marriage. The Lucy Stoners of the U.S. during that period handled many
challenges as they had to fight to get passports issued in their own names, to
open bank accounts in their own names, and even to take out copyrights in the
same names their works had been copyrighted in before marriage. They won some
of these rights but at the cost of being portrayed as fanatics over a trivial issue
like a name.
However,
by the 2000s, only 18 percent of women were keeping
their names, in the Journal of Social Behavior and Personality according to
a study published in 2009. The reasons women cite for taking their
spouse's surname vary: some like the tradition of it, and others find it
romantic. In some cases, it's more important to their husbands, and some feel
it will be more convenient once they have children. Some women even argue,
counterintuitively, that taking their husband’s name is a feminist choice.
Myriads of
options were adopted when it came to the name-change debate after this surge
of feminism in the West. One may decide to keep her birth name, take her husband’s
name, opt for taking his last name and make’s own maiden name as one’s middle
name, take his last name legally but keep one’s own name professionally, or
hyphenate the two names. Gradually, with globalization and technology, this
trend spread globally, and women all over the world now have the freedom to access
any of these options, with the only bottleneck of fulfilling all local legal
procedures, rules, and other formalities and technicalities.
My
Name My Identity
However,
local, cultural, and religious traditions do prevent women from enjoying this freedom
to opt for options for keeping their own birth name after marriage. For
example, in India, the religious personal laws reiterate the principle of
husband’s control over a woman and disallow women to exercise the freedom to opt
for their birth name after marriage. The women struggled hard against legal and
cultural norms to assert their right to enjoy this liberty. A few of them challenged the law, resisted the
cultural norms, and strived hard to protect their identities. This identity
dilemma not only affects their own lives but continues to impact the lives of
their children and becomes more prominent in cases where women obtain divorce
after marriage.
Whether
it relates to the battle of custody of children after divorce or in the simple
matter relating to opening of bank account, the protection of one’s identity as
a woman became a major issue. In fact,
the Supreme Court of India in the legal case of Gita Hariharan v RBI and Vandana
Shiva v Union of India, upheld the principle of gender equality while
recognizing the role of women as custodians and guardians of the child equal to
that of the father and not `after’ him. A woman as a mother, thus, is granted the right to manage the minor children’s care and property in the absence of the
father. The identity associated with
one’s name therefore is of significant value in not only her own life but also
of her children and has a major implication in defining and shaping lives.
For
the Namesake
During
my own efforts to get insight into this aspect of changing name after marriage
in India, I came across different reasons given by friends, kin, neighbors,
colleagues, and women whom I interacted with. These women are from
different backgrounds; however, some of the reasons given are similar in nature.
These delve from day-to-day convenience, age-old tradition, and practice, changing
names may ease claims in property rights and inheritance matters, and ease for
children to comprehend relationships and family tree, among others. Though many
of them have even hyphenated two names, yet, the question of protecting
identity has hardly been thought about.
Surprisingly,
the reason for a claim in property rights emerged even though the Hindu
Succession law was amended in 2005. However, the tradition and custom
before this amendment was that once married a daughter cannot claim any
inheritance rights in the property that belongs to her father and that all this
property generally belongs to and is divided among brothers. Yet, after all these
years of struggle by the women’s movement in India to push such amendments to
succession law the mindset even among women at the ground level remains the
same.
The
women who obtain divorce or were into that process, struggle with the dilemma
of changing names again. In a few cases, they have to get their name changed in
all the legal documents, struggling with bureaucratic procedures to obtain
affidavits and legal papers in their own name because they do not wish they
continue with the name they acquired after marriage. The reasons for re-changing
to birth name include avoiding any severe ties associated with the relationship
(if I am not continuing any relationship with him, why should I stick with his
name?) to asserting their own self as an independent person.
Why
Name is important?
The
question arises, why did I choose this topic? In my own life, this issue gained
importance because by the time I got married, I was enrolled for my PhD and had
started writing and publishing. Changing my name was the last thing I had in
my mind amidst the chaos of marriage, completing my studies etc. However, I was
forced to change my name after marriage. I was headstrong enough not to
accept any of the changes. I believed changing the name would imply not only giving
up my identity, something I was born with, but also it may involve hassles in
getting all the formalities done at various ends. Soon enough, my marriage ended, and I was satisfied that my obstinacy of not giving up the label I have been
putting up since my birth has helped me somehow, despite the commotion raised. For example, I have been held as a
traitor and disloyal by my in-laws for not changing my name after marriage. The
matter does not end here.
The
lawyer whom I consulted for my divorce case never agreed with my point relating to continuing with my birth name. Neither the senior woman lawyer hired
by my ex-husband agreed. This point was raised during
the arguments before the judge, but she was kind enough to overlook
this issue. Then marriage registration process was not formalized
under the law.
Even after the years, I obtained a divorce, the name matter does not stop haunting me.
There was an insurance policy that I had taken years ago when my marriage
existed. Somehow, it shows my husband’s surname rather than my birth name.
When this policy matured, I went to the insurance office to claim my money. The
insurance officer refused to do so. Even after explaining to him about my current
marital status and showing all the evidences that exist on paper, he insisted on getting an affidavit that I had changed my name after marriage.
Even
today, this dilemma still exists before me as many official documents
demand the husband’s name or father’s name on any official documents besides the
column which asks about your marital status.
After
the birth of my daughter, when my ex-husband and in-laws refused to even look
at her, I further resolved that my daughter would carry my surname rather than
his, and this further initiated another struggle.
It
was at the turn of the millennium, when I approached a famous school in South Delhi
for the admission of my daughter, that my divorce case was already in process. The
school demanded a birth certificate which I instantly provided but it carries
the name of my ex-husband as her father. The Principal of the School was kind
enough to state that in his school, all children are being treated equally and
that my daughter will not face any issues. However, the in-charge of the Preprimary
section had different views. She argued that my ex-husband was my child’s
father, and I cannot deny the fact. Secondly, the child may face difficulty if
she sees that all other kids on their identity cards will carry their father’s
name, but her card will carry a blank in the column of father’s name. The
feminist in me refused to accept these views and retorted “But my ex-husband or
his family has refused to take care of the child. If they have disowned her
then why should she carry his tag for her entire life? Why can’t she carry my
name?”
Meanwhile, the judgment in the case of Gita Hariharan was already out, and legally
it ensures that under the Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act, the mother can
be treated as a guardian of the child in the `absence’ of the father. The
phrase `absence of father’ includes not only physical absence, but the court was
liberal enough in interpreting it to the situation where the father refused to accept
the responsibility of the child. Regarding the father’s name column in the ID
card, I suggested to her that in that particular column, I can go for the guardian’s
name instead of the father’s name. She finally agreed to it. This is not the only
place where I have to fight to protect the identity of my daughter, but there
are other places where I need to argue this fact.
At
the passport office, when I left the column of father’s name blank in the
passport application form, the officer at the counter initially refused to
accept the application. But I was prepared. I showed him the copy of the
judgment by the SC along with my divorce decree. After much of the arguments, he asked me to
approach his senior official. Fortunately, the senior official does agree to my
request after showing him all the documents including the copy of the SC
judgment.
Today,
the column of father’s name in the passport of my daughter is blank rather, it
contains the column, the mother’s name, where I take pride in finding my name, thus continuing my lineage and my identity as a mother.
Sailing
in this world where we have preconceived notions about many things including
name change, was never smooth. Someone asked, aren’t you depriving your kid
of her connection with her father’s family or property? My response to that
was yes, it was my choice and under those given circumstances, what I felt was appropriate was to let my child know by her mother’s name. However, she again
has a choice to discontinue if she desires and adopts whatever she likes. Regarding
the property issue and connection with the father’s family, when her father and
his family have disowned her so why I should keep this hope alive in her that
one day they may come back looking for her.
Can
one continue to carry a legacy of a name that does not belong to her? Just because one is born in a particular family, should one
continue to carry the same name even if s/he is denied the privilege of the
legacy? And yes, recently she did exercise her choice of choosing her name
while she appeared for her tenth-grade board examination.
I
was aware of the law and could fight for rights; however, several women whom I
met were not so privileged to know about their rights to continue with their
birth name after the breakdown of marriage. Many of them who underwent divorce
proceedings never wanted to go through the hassles of changing their
marriage names again to their birth names, even though they do not wish to
continue with the tag of their ex-husbands.
A
few of them decided to change their name; however, they faced difficulty as
their children had been enrolled in academic institutions with their father’s
surname. These women opined that if they changed their current name to their
birth name, it would create chaos and confusion.
However, some of the questions that never
left my mind were why someone has to change their name after marriage? If it is a
custom, tradition or ritual, why does it exist so, and why can it not be changed?
Why a child cannot take a mother’s name? Why does everyone insist that father’s
name is important for a child? Should a child be given the liberty to pick up any
of the parents’ names? In a patriarchal setup, marriage as an institution do
compel women to take up their husband’s name and be identified as Mrs. Him however,
with the changing social and cultural milieu, I believe that every woman should
be made aware that she can make a choice to remain Ms Self in case she chooses
to.
Remaining Ms Self may not hinder any
relationship legally or otherwise because that pertains to one’s identity. Thus,
my right to choose my name exists with me and nobody else has a right to label
me or change my name, whether or not I decide to marry.
A name, therefore,
may have significance in one’s lifetime depending on one’s own perspective. `To be or not to be’ to continue with one’s
label and one’s identity is the choice which a person should be entitled to.
“To be, or not to be,
that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of
troubles.”
Labels: feminist, name, surname
